The tour so far... in numbers!

The shows

Shows so far - 9

Shows still to come - 13

Standing ovations - 9

Number of times I've forgotten to give my in-ear pack back to Paul at the end of a show - 9

Number of times Steven has yelled "JEEEEESUS!" on stage - 3

Number of times Craig has lost it laughing about "JEEEEESUS!" - 3

Number of dartboards at the Tamworth Abbott Hall - 9

Number of chords in the feel-good strum - it doesn't matter, it feels good

Number of times Steven has sang Lionel Ritchie songs on stage - it doesn't matter, it feels good

Number of times "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" has been sung on stage - 1. And it felt good.

Number of fans who have followed up on my soliciting of Kevin as a masseuse - 2. They wanted to feel good.

Number of times I've thought to myself "this is the best moment ever" as the final chords of Brian Wilson ring out - 9. SO GOOD!

Credit: Emily Plunkett, Canadian Beats

Food and drink

Number of steamies I tried in Montreal - A devastating 0.

Number of root beers I tried in an A&W in Napanee : Number of root beers I'll be having again in my life - 1 : 0

Number of boxes of 'Supreme crème à l'érable' maple cookies consumed on the van - 3

Number of bagels Craig ate backstage in Montreal - around 14. (He says 9. But it was closer to 14).

Defeated by bagels

Number of times Steven has had soup on this tour - Anyone's guess

Members of the Page Crew who have thrown up on this tour - 2

Number of minutes Kevin spent in a roadside bathroom on the drive to Montreal - a concerning, and directly related to the above, 16.

Travel

Number of moose we have seen : Number of times I have enquired about the likelihood of seeing a moose - 0 : 74

Number of times I asked for clarity about the size of a moose and received an answer so emphatic and gross that I'm now unsure if I actually want to see a moose - 1

Number of hours driving between the Highgate, ON show and the Winnipeg, MB show - 20

Number of ailments the band and crew will collectively incur on said drive - no idea but it's not going to feel good.

Number of times Andy Samberg's 'Popstar' has been quoted in the van - 1,348

Number of songs Steven made up on the drive between Montreal and Tamworth - 3

Hit rate of Steven's improvised songs that I swear to God are catchier than anything else you'll hear - 100%

Number of times I've had an opportune moment to do laundry but thought "I'll be OK for a little while longer" - 7

Pairs of underwear I've had to borrow from Craig - 2

Number of shirts I've had to borrow from Kevin - 1

Number of farts in the van - oh I couldn't even tell you.

You

Odds of having a good time at a Steven Page show this month - 100%.

Come on out, there's lots of fun yet to be had...